Happy Birthday, Bean!

That's right! Today is The Bean's big number 1! So far he's eaten strawberries and toast for breakfast, played and giggled with his brother, and is now taking a nap. After naps we plan to go to the store and buy a cake, then take it to Daddy's work for a little birthday party. I'm going to bake a cake for our "at home" party tomorrow. :)

It's so amazing to me that it's already been a year. It's gone by so very fast. Hard to believe this time last year I was at the hospital, a pitocin drip in my arm and moaning in pain, waiting for my baby boy to make his appearance.

Is it just me, or is all that pain a fond memory now? Maybe I'm crazy, but I kind of love all the excitement of going to the hospital and having a baby. It's excruciatingly painful (I haven't forgotten that!!) but there's so much joy, so much wonder... I can't help but feel nostalgic. I remember that as soon as he was born I couldn't stop exclaiming, "There's my boy!! That's my boy!! There's my boy!!" Over and over. It was just amazing.

It's so strange, being pregnant. Knowing there's this little, precious life inside of you. You feel connected to that life, you're already providing for it, loving and caring. But you don't even know what that little baby looks like. It's so wonderful to finally meet that little bundle of sweetness. To see him for the first time, to confirm that that bulge in your abdomen is really and truly a life. An entire person, with fingers and toes and arms and legs and a beating heart. It's surreal. Astounding. Suddenly you understand why pregnancy was so exhausting- you were making a person!!! It's real. He's real.

I had this "He's real!" epiphany with both of my boys. But neither time was I afraid. I was in awe. Life is so big, so wonderful, and I'm now a part of the creation of life. That's.... huge.

I have no idea what's in store for my boys. Maybe The Bean will be a zoologist, an accountant, a taxi driver, a writer, an architect or a plumber. Maybe he'll be none of those things. It doesn't matter to me. What does matter to me is that he's loving, compassionate, and respectful. He's only a year old, but the possibilities for his life are vast. And isn't that just great? Who knows how many people's life he'll change, what he'll accomplish.

As this first year of his life concludes, I'm looking back at all of the milestones he's hit and I'm just filled with happiness. He's experienced so much in such a short time. But he has so much more to experience!! I'm sad that this past year went by so fast, but I'm looking forward to what's to come. He's my Bean, and I'm so happy to get to watch him grow.